Tag: Family

All On My Own

When we were still prepping to move, someone said, “Oh, you can always come back.” And I said, no. And they said, “But don’t you have any friends here? How could you just leave your friends?” Oh, I have the very best of friends. My tribe is so special, you guys.

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Which brings us to today. The first day I’m really feeling the sting of flying solo. Normally, today, I’d be texting Tara planning our outing. We’d have until 1 to play, because Wilson has school at 1:30. Tuesdays was usually Biz, because that’s when our schedules lined up. Katie would be lunch dates, because preschool every morning. Stefany had Friday’s free.

Today I’m on my own. We’re going to our new Children’s Museum alone, with just us. Ryan’s back to work. It’s just me and the kids, living this new life that we dreamed up. And I’m really sad about it. I know new friends will come, but they won’t be my old my friends. And I really love my old friends.

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It’s okay to want something huge and scary and be so excited and still be sad. Today, I’m feeling the loss. Tomorrow, we’ll climb mountains, but today is hard.

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A Journey of 1000 Miles

… begins with a single step. But this journey was only 931 miles.

We started the day off with last minute cleaning and packing (meaning, fit all the things in the van), a play date to exhaust the kids (which failed), last minute hugs from our favorite friends, and a big wave goodbye to the house we brought Wilson home to.

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You guys, some people really like to drive. 12 hours and 39 minutes is a quick, easy jaunt to them. And I am not one of those people. But I contained my complaints knowing that me begging to stop would only 1. Delay arrival in CO and 2. inspire the littles to start complaining.

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The kids did awesome. Iowa and Nebraska are really big states and, sadly, it was really cold so we couldn’t do the fun things we wanted to do along the way. But Wilson did get his hotel stay, and Matilda got all the tablet time she could handle.

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We had approximately 34 minutes of heavenly double nap, and it was amazing. Luckily, Wilson woke up just as we approached a gas station for the first time in an hour, and we convinced him to get back in the car with a bag of M&Ms.

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When we left Nebraska that morning, I told Ryan that I really wanted to hit this open house on the way to Jen’s. Because obviously we’re going to just swing by an open house as soon as we’re in town. It was going to be close, Ryan said, especially with lunch and mandatory bathroom breaks (4 year old bladders are smaller than glasses of chocolate milk). But we made it! 

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It wasn’t our dream house, but it did make our dream more of a reality. We explored and imagined our life here. We headed to Jen’s, went out for dinner, came home and crashed.  We enjoyed beautiful mountain views and the most amazing sunset from the rooftop patio and the kids were a little obsessed with the revolving door.

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It felt good to be home, even just our in-between home.

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Homeschooling for Dummies

This is by no means an expert guide, but mostly a place for me to dump all my links. One day my internet browser with 28 tabs will spontaneously close and I’ll be screwed. So here we go.

Spoiler alert: I have no idea what I’m doing. But I’m excited to try it.

When we started the moving process, we knew we had a place to stay. We decided that we’d sell here, move there, and then figure out what and where we were going to end up. We plan on staying in this next house for a while, and we want to make sure we get it right. Since we don’t have a permanent home yet, we don’t have a school to enroll in. In the interim, we’re homeschooling.

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I’m excited. And terrified. But excited. We’ve dealt with so much anxiety around school, I think this time together will help ease the transitions. We’ll have the freedom to explore. To get to know this new place together. All while squeezing in some actual school work.

I’ve been doing some reading on the regulations for homeschooling in Colorado, joined a few facebook groups, visited a local homeschooling store, and I’m feeling pretty darn good about this. I mean, if I totally screw this up, at least we have a while to get back on track before she goes to high school.

And here’s a brain dump of all my open tabs:

https://parentingpatch.com/second-grade-homeschool-curriculum/

https://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/

https://www.thehomeschoolmom.com/homeschooling-in-colorado/

https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/

http://www.jumpstart.com/parents/activities/grade-based-activities/2nd-grade-activities

http://www.jumpstart.com/parents/worksheets

https://www.powerhomeschool.org/program-overview/

http://www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/blog/tag/2nd-grade

 

We’re moving.

We’re doing it. We’re moving. To Denver. We’re packing up our whole lives to try something crazy and new, for no other reason than we really, really want to. (Which, I’ve realized, is really hard for some people to understand.) Last summer, we spent a week in Denver staying with a friend I met on the internet. (No. For real. Brooke and I met IRL for the first time when we met her at the aquarium before sleeping at her house.) Ryan and I stood in the mountains and looked at each other. We could live here. That’d be fun. 

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And then my best friend, my co-parent, my mid-afternoon coffee-on-the-front-steps-while-the-kids-bike neighbor across the street moved. And Ryan and I looked at each other and said, hey, we could do that. But could we? Could we really pack up all of our lives and leave our friends and our history and our families behind? Could we give up a whole life of familiarity for a wild and crazy dream? Yup. We sure could.

This summer, when my cousin offered us a free place to stay, we booked our flights and headed back. We knew.

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Here we are, a year later. Most of my life is in boxes. My walls are bare. We’re so ready, you guys. SO ready. And I get that not everyone gets it. And that’s cool, because this feels so crazy right. We’re going to go live by the mountains, we might go skiing, we’re going to scope out all that Colorado has to offer.

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And we’re really dang excited.

But it’s hard, you guys. Packing your life and selling your house and starting new jobs is hard. And saying goodbye to all of your friends is so hard. These are the friendships I’ve waited my whole life for, and I have some really kick ass friends. And we’re changing all of that, to go chase some dreams. Building a whole spankin’ new life. With the four of us at the core.

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Life doesn’t have to be what it was. It’s okay to do something new, even if the old was find. It’s okay to make selfish choices for your family, it’s okay to follow your dreams and to listen to your heart. It’s okay. You can do this. You can do whatever the hell you want to live your best life, with whomever you want to live it with.

So, if you’re on the fence, do it. Take the job, sell the house. (I mean, ask me in 3 weeks when we’re all on top of each other in my cousin’s house, driving each other nuts, and I might change my mind.) And if someone you love is chasing crazy dreams across the country, don’t be mad. It’s not you, it’s them. And that’s okay. Cheer them on. Help them pack. Babysit their kids while they patch the holes in their walls. Whatever you want to do, just show up for them. You can’t ask them to live your version of their life.

I can’t wait to share this journey with you. This wild and crazy adventure. I’d like to blog more, as we work through this.. Here we go! Final countdown is on.

 

Wilson is Four.

Four years ago, I woke up early in the morning. One week after we’d moved in to our forever home. One week before his c section date. 15 weeks in to placenta previa, I’d finally had my first bleed. We woke up Matilda and headed to the hospital.

My birth was not awesome. The first few days after were terrible. The entire first week he was here, I cried. It was hard. It was so much harder than I was ready for it to be. We can laugh now about the shit show that was that chapter, but it was hard. 

But here we are. Four amazing years later. And life is so so good.
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Wilson, happy birthday. You do your own thing, in your own time. And you always have. You figure things out. You problem solve, deconstruct. I see so much of your father in you. I can watch the little gears turn in your head. You’re a planner. You’re a lover. Oh, Wilson. You love to hug. Your hugs can change the world.

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Your favorite things. Grilled cheese. Ketchup. French Fries. Chocolate Milk. (Clearly, you’re a health nut.) Your sister, Iz, and Shep. And me and your dad, obviously. Riding your bike (and your scooter). The beach. Nickelodeon Universe. The Children’s Museum. The Garbage Park (aka Franconia). Culver’s, McDonald’s, Noodles & Co, and DIY pizza from Papa Murphy’s. Trucks. Trucks. Cars. Police Playmobil set. Trucks. IRL trucks.

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You’re hilarious. Your confidence is astounding. You will explain anything to anyone with complete conviction. You are the man with the answers. And the questions. You love a good adventure, especially with friends (and sissy). You’re so curious, always excited to learn and explore.

But Wilson. Your lower lip. You know how to pout like no one I’ve ever met. You feel big, and you make sure that everyone knows where you stand.

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Wilson, you are so dang incredible. You light up a room (or you shut that party down based on your current mood). If you’re having a moment, which happens frequently, you need hugs, lots and lots of hugs. You do things your own way, in your own time. I laugh thinking of how we potty trained you. You were almost 3.5 and it was very much time. You woke up one morning and I told you that this was your idea. That you decided you weren’t going to wear diapers. You rolled with it. You owned it. And you didn’t. Once you decide something, there’s no stopping you.

I love you. Happy 4, Wilson. Happy 4. Thanks for letting me be your mom.

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