Everyone You Leave Behind

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I’ve been tumbling this post around in my brain the last week, so we’ll see how this goes.

Moving is hard. Last July, when my best left, it was really hard. And now, here we are, having left all of our favorite people 931 miles away. Now that I’m here, so far away, I am so damn happy for her, that they followed their dreams and packed their bags. I get it now. I understand it.

When you move, it’s hard. It’s exciting, but hard. Everything is new, which is great and terrifying. And totally overwhelming. We’ve been here 3 weeks now and I can almost get to Target without mapping it. Your whole life is unfamiliar. You miss your old life, but the missing is so big and the new is so big, that its all just a jumble. And you’re so busy trying to remember where Target is and what your new highways are called and what the hell these turn lanes are that you don’t always feel the enormity of all you’ve left behind.

When someone you love moves, your life is the same, except this big whole where the person you loved used to be. Your days look almost the same, but they’re missing. You can drive by their house and see that they aren’t there. Your favorite places and your favorite things can be littered with all the fun things you used to do together. Your life looks the same, but it’s totally different. You have time to feel all of the feelings of loss, because you aren’t busy relearning your whole world.

I remember when my sister wife from across the street moved to a whole new state. The street we played in, the steps we drew on, the kitchen we snacked in – it all looked the same but it wasn’t. My whole day changed. Eventually, our afternoons filled in with new activities. Our mornings had new play dates. We made new friends. Phone dates replaced coffee dates. But man, I was sad.

I miss my friends. And my friends’ kids. And I’m so sad that I’m making them sad, by leaving this Ockwig sized hole in their lives. But you guys. If you feel like you need to move, do it. If you long for a new adventure and unfamiliar road names and unknown Targets, go for it. You can’t live your life for someone else.

Life is short and the world is big. This new adventure has been so amazing that it’s worth every bit of hard on this end. But getting there is hard.

So, Minnesota, we miss you. We’d love for you to join us. We can’t wait to see you. And thank you for all the high fives and cheerleading.

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